PS: View this post in your browser to read the complete post and comment as well. Hey everyone. So today I decided to write another personal post on what I’d tell my 16 year old self. I chose my 16 year old self because that was the time I made a lot of discoveries; and I just decided to stop trying and move on from every negative thing/person. It was the time I realised that I was surrounded by fake people which I talked about on LIFE CHANGING MOMENT: MY BIGGEST REGRET.

It was also the time I had my longest depresstion which I talked about on KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO OF THE WRONG PERSON; as well as other mental breakdowns. And if I could go back in time, I would change so many things. Plus, I recently wrote a post on 19 THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN 19 YEARS so why not? Let’s begin now, shall we?

1. All the people you’re calling your best friends, close friends and all that won’t even be in your life in a few years. You tried to make your best friends happy; and you were their shoulder to cry on; meanwhile you barely had anyone to talk to about your issues. But you’ll see that letting go of them was a really good thing because they weren’t really worth it.

2. Right now you have over a hundred contacts and you keep deleting so they won’t become too much. But, in a few years, you won’t even have up to 40 contacts and you’ll be fine with that. You’ll realise that having lots of friends isn’t important and you’d rather be on your own; surrounded by the few people who matter the most.

16 year old

3. You’ll have a blog; shocker! You’ll finally decide to take that step and although it’ll be a bumpy ride, you’ll have no idea where it’ll take you so just wait and see.

4. You’ll meet really amazing people who’ll change your perspective of things, and you’ll learn to trust again. You’ll let go off all that hate and pain; and you’ll finally open up about your struggles which will eventually help you. You never thought it would happen but it will; because opening up doesn’t mean you’re weak.

5. You’ll realise that all your relapses weren’t just mood swings and all the names you were called because of your attitude or reaction to things have an explanation. And that people were wrong for criticizing your actions without knowing the reason behind it.

6. You’ll realise that people aren’t what they seem to be and they’re just good at lying. But never mind that because you made the best decision by letting go of them.

7. You’ll stop trying to fit in and trying to please people and just do what makes you happy because trying to get accepted by people will never pay off; it’ll only backfire.

8. All that pain you’re feeling will eventually come to an end. You’ll decide to move on and although it’ll take some time, you’ll learn to love yourself and you’ll focus on improving yourself. Something you thought you’d never do. Plus, you’ll learn to stop faking being happy and just be genuinely happy.

9. You’ll realise that nothing was ever your fault and the time you spent blaming yourself for everything because you didn’t understand will pass. You don’t deserve that.

10. You won’t act on your thoughts. And, although, they’ll have such a huge influence on you, you’ll learn to shut them up and just be you.

11. Stop thinking you’ll die alone; because you won’t. That, I promise

12. You’ll become a poet; and also a playwright. You’ll decide to start writing novels again and you’ll enjoy it. You’ll also come up with a few movie ideas. Pretty awesome.

13. You’ll wear make up in a few years; and you’ll love it! You’ll realise that make up isn’t just for girly girls; and you’ll actually take it a bit seriously.

14. You’ll learn to accept yourself and all your flaws. Despite the fact that everyone criticized you for being too skinny; you’ll stop feeling ashamed and just embrace who you are.

15. You’ll see that life isn’t a fairy tale and it only exist in movies. You’ll become a realist and trust me; you’ll see things more clearly and you’ll always be one step ahead.

16. You’ll learn to accept things as they are and see that not everything is worth fighting for because it’s better to let go and be broken than hold on and still be broken.

Maybe I can’t go back to the past but my younger self is still a part of me and saying this to what’s only a memory isn’t such a bad thing. You have to fix the past in order to really move on and focus on the future. If you could say anything to the your younger self, what would you say?
Ps: All photos are of 16 year old me; taken 3 years ago; black and white was my favourite filter.

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9 comments Add yours
  1. Good job self, you got us through the hard times. You didn’t give up at your worst times when you didn’t want to live. You took time out for self and you suffered endlessly because you felt so ugly In your face. With unbearable pain in your heart your character couldn’t be broken. You, You, It was you who saved us because you didn’t give up on God. You never stop asking God why me?

    Remember the day in the bathroom at our parents house. You fell out in the floor and you were pleading for God to kill you. You asked God why I can’t feel your presence? You asked if I am a nobody why am I here? If I can’t feel you who am I to deserve to live? I won’t accept Living Without You. Please please please save me. When you walked out the bathroom you felt like you walked out alone because God would not answer.

    Your dad was standing there he heard your prayer and it broke his heart as a preacher and a pastor he didn’t know anything else to say to you. Keep praying don’t give up prayer is not a old people thing. Pray until you discover who God is. You’re old enough to pray for yourself. You need your own relationship with God don’t give up He hear you God want you to hear you.

    You didn’t give up you kept praying until you felt the power of God. Remember it was you. You prayed to God in that hotel room the night you were kidnapped by your boyfriend and he told you, you would never see your family again and he put a gun to your head. He pulled the trigger and the gun went off.

    Remember how You begin to pray loud and hard with conviction. God entered the room and the gun exploded and fell onto the floor.

    Do you remember what it was all for? Your demons, was sent by the devil, lucifer, Satan, who sent his best angels of darkness, to destroy you at a young age, because he didn’t want you to live to become Who You Are.

    He didn’t want you to live to tell your story; to help the people that he was trying with all his might to destroy their life and their future. I’m so proud of Who You were and who you are now.

  2. Love this post! Gosh, it really has me thinking what I would have told my younger self when I was struggling with self-harm and my erratic behavior due to my bipolar disorder. I am so happy to see the strong, sassy, and caring young woman you’ve become!!

  3. These are such nuggets of wisdom – I think everybody would benefit from reading this, not just 16-year-old you ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Fantastic! This post actually got me quite emotional because a lot of what you said is true for my younger self as well! Especially number 1 – honestly the amount of girls (my “friends” apparently) who I was there for and they were never there for me back. We fell out quite badly, for several reasons but mostly over a boy (of course *rolls eyes*)… and looking back at my friendship with them it was toxic. I am glad it ended. They used me for loads of my high school years and for a bit I was hurt and upset when I realised their true colours. But now I couldn’t be happier. I have some fantastic true friends that I met at university. Now, as a 25 year old woman, I believe I have learnt to love myself, love friends who deserve my affections, and love my gorgeous boyfriend who I met at 23 who is the first properly mature man I have ever been with. My life is lovely now but reading this post reminds me of how I struggled in my younger years. thank you for posting. It was a heartwarming read. I suffered from some depression following a serious car accident after uni and I think that has helped me to live every moment and be happy and grateful. Live life to the full because you only get one life. So happy you find pleasure in writing, as I do. Keep it up ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Awwww this is beautiful! I’m glad you guys fell out; and over a boy? Obviously the worse friends. It’s a good thing you’re loving life now and just letting yourself be happy rather than being tied down by the past and your bad experience. I wish you the best๐Ÿ˜Š

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