For someone who recently opened up about my struggles with depression which you can find here and on a guest post I did as well. This is a very important topic for me because it took me so long to talk about it and finally accept my flaws. And, right now, I feel better than ever because of genuine self love.
I’ve always had a hard time getting close to people, hanging out, or doing things in public without feeling uncomfortable. Self love is something I haven’t wholeheartedly given to myself and whenever I feel depressed, I end up hating myself all over again. But, right now, I’m actually really happy. Plus, I feel so comfortable in my skin and body; and I don’t feel like I used to anymore. I’m finally giving myself a chance to do what I want and just be me regardless of what anyone thinks. I don’t care about being body shamed for being too skinny because I love being skinny.
For the first time in three years I’ve spent in the university, I felt comfortable walking in front of my class without feeling weird or uncomfortable; something I’ve always avoided. I waved at a lot of people which isn’t common at all with me, and I smiled as well. It’s a huge step for me considering the fact that I stay away from crowds because I feel weird and awkward.
Also, I had my earpiece on and my music so loud; just how I like it. And for the first time too, I danced to my music regardless of who was watching. I didn’t care about being criticized or being stared at; I just did what I wanted and I felt happy doing it. On a normal day, I would shy away from the public and listen to music on my own; but not this time. It was the best feeling ever! Not caring about people watching me or what they’ll say; I was just me.
Now, I smile a lot; and it’s not a fake smile, I dance all the time, I listen to happy songs; and Little Mix are killing it with their “Glory Days” album, I take personal things seriously, and I’m learning to get in contact with people which I’ve always found weird. I feel different; and most importantly, happy. I’ve finally given myself the love I really deserve and if I ever relapse, I know I’ll get back to normal. I never really knew genuine self love felt this way; and it just happened out of nowhere. It just shows me that no matter what I go through, and how hard things get, I can always make it out with a smile on my face and my head held up high.
So, is self love important? Yes! Because if I didn’t give it to myself like I’m supposed to, I wouldn’t have done any of that without feeling uncomfortable or strange. And for the first time ever, I posted a video of myself on Instagram which is something I’ve never done as I’d never be okay doing it. I see things differently now and I feel almost at peace. It’s still a working progress but it’s going really well and that’s what matters.