THE TEXT I COULD NEVER SEND 

Hey. It has been a while. I’m not good with pleasantries or nice words, or anything having to do with emotions but I have to tell you something. I don’t know where to start or what to say; but I need to let this out. It has been so difficult not talking to you ever since; our mid night conversations, and how we used to laugh about random things. Maybe you didn’t laugh as much as I did; but I enjoyed every moment I spent with you; that’s why I’ve never had the courage to delete the messages. 

I fell in love with you since the very first day; maybe not the first because I had no idea when it happened. It just did. I thought we were just strangers who ended up being really great friends; how you made me laugh and all that was amazing. I fell for your eyes, lips, nose, brows, and the one tiny pimple I noticed right under your chin when the sun reflected on your face. I tried to deny it when I realised it for the first time because I knew it was never meant to be; the time, space, distance, destiny, and most importantly, the memory. I thought I would never feel this way until you came along, and then I lost you. A text from you every morning made my day, and a text every night before I went to bed was everything to me. But, everything was against us; I felt that way but I doubt you did. I thought hating you would help me but I ended up hating myself because I couldn’t let you go no matter how much I pretended not to care. Writing about you was never enough; telling you isn’t either. I’m not telling you so you can reciprocate. And I hope you don’t reply because I wouldn’t be able to talk to you after this. I just want to find peace and let the memories just be. I hate long messages; but I hate this feeling more.

Goodbye is goodbye. And this is forever. I love you; but it’s not enough. What’s not meant to be should be left as is it. I hope you’re happy. 

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18 Comments

  1. so sad, yet beautiful. I can relate much, though it’s not me -but I think it’s worse, cause it’s “the one” I cherish most- and still I am the one who fall deeper in love with a beautiful heart like this, like yours. It’s good to let it out.
    one thing I believe is, love never disappear though its form may change.

    Keep strong, we all will overcome it in our own ways.

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